15 Gifts for People Who Hate Everything (But Might Secretly Like Cool Stuff)
Some people are just impossible to buy for. They scoff at candles, roll their eyes at anything labelled “inspirational,” and pretend gift-giving is a concept they’re morally opposed to. But let’s be honest — even the most gift-resistant humans have soft spots. They just don’t want anything boring, basic, or expected. That’s where we come in.
We’ve scoured the internet’s oddest corners to find things even the grumpiest, snarkiest, and most unimpressed people might quietly enjoy (or at least not immediately return). Whether you’re shopping for your partner, your friend, or that one cousin who thinks everything is a scam, here are 15 real, quirky, and lowkey brilliant gifts they just might tolerate. Or, who knows… even love.
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1. Passive-Aggressive Cross-Stitch Pattern
These aren’t your nana’s florals. These are sass-stitched masterpieces that say things like “I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing” or “I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything is fine.” Perfect for someone who doesn’t do fake cheer but loves a good jab disguised as home decor. Bonus points: they get to stab something hundreds of times with a needle.
2. Scentless Wood-Wick Candle
Most candles are either overly floral, aggressively vanilla, or somehow both. Enter the unscented wood-wick candle — all the cozy crackling of a campfire, none of the olfactory assault. It’s aesthetic, calming, and doesn’t try too hard. Which is basically the dream, right?
Not all candles need to smell like a forest fairy’s armpit. Etsy has a surprisingly awesome range of unscented candles — perfect for people who get headaches from lavender or just hate being ambushed by vanilla. These candles still bring all the flickery mood vibes without making your house smell like a dessert warzone. Great for dinner parties, meditation, or just pretending you’re classy.
3. “Stay Weird” Tote Bag
A tote that does what they would never say out loud: announce their weirdness proudly. Whether they’re using it to carry groceries, books, or just their overwhelming sense of existential dread, this is the bag that lets the world know they’re not trying to fit in. Ever.
4. Kinetic Optical Illusion Desk Toy
It spins, it hypnotises, and it serves absolutely no functional purpose. Which makes it perfect for someone who thinks everything should be useful — until they can’t stop playing with this thing during meetings. Weirdly soothing and endlessly distracting.
Optical illusion desk toys are what happens when stress balls grow up and get weird. These little hypnotic gadgets spin, twist, and wobble in ways your brain can’t quite process — which makes them oddly soothing (and slightly creepy). Perfect for zoning out during Zoom calls or pretending you’re deep in thought when you’re actually just watching a spinning top defy physics. Etsy has some seriously cool ones that make your desk 87% more interesting.
5. Funny Overstimulated Skeleton Tote
Picture this: a grumpy skeleton curled into a hoodie saying “Hold On, I’m Overstimulated.” Now put that on a tote. This one’s for the sensory-sensitive introverts who still need to carry their stuff but want the world to lower its volume a few notches. Bonus: makes strangers laugh awkwardly at the supermarket.
6. Wooden Bobble Head Animal Figurine
It’s a tiny wooden animal. It wobbles when nudged. It serves no logical function except to silently judge your every decision. Which, frankly, is a vibe. Put it on a shelf, your desk, or anywhere you need emotional support (or subtle shame). It’s ridiculous but somehow niche and coola the same time. Kangaroos, pigs, and turtles just to name a few.
Bobble head wooden animals Add a dash of charm, a sprinkle of chaos, and just the right amount of “what even is that?” to your workspace or gift box. Bonus: no batteries, no barking, just pure wooden approval.
7. “No Thank You” Minimalist Shirt
No graphics. No flair. Just clean, minimal typography that reads: “No thank you.” It’s fashion for people who don’t want to explain themselves, don’t want small talk, and definitely don’t want to go to brunch. Imagine the exstasy they’ll feel when they imagine opening the front door to salesmen or Jehovahs Witnesses and just pointing to the shirt.
8. Blackout Puzzle
A 1000-piece puzzle. All black. No image. No pattern. Just pain. The ultimate gift for someone who says they’re up for a challenge — and maybe also for people who secretly enjoy rage-quitting. If they finish it they can frame their masterpiece and tell the story of the jigsaw puzzle from hell while their guests look very impressed. Probably best to buy this one for someone you only see once or twice a year – just saying….
The 1000-piece blackout puzzle is a gift for people who say, “I like a challenge” but also might need therapy after this one. With zero image, zero pattern, and zero mercy, it’s just 1000 pieces of pure, inky-black chaos. It’s equal parts meditation and madness — perfect for perfectionists, puzzle masochists, or anyone who thrives on frustration with a side of bragging rights. Just don’t expect to finish it before you lose your will to live (or at least your dining table for a month).
9. Air Plant That Thrives on Neglect
This is a plant you can forget about for weeks at a time, and it’ll still be fine. Honestly, it’s probably thriving because of the neglect. It’s low maintenance, high reward, and practically indestructible. Like their sense of humour.
10. Weird Coffee Table Book of Useless Facts
Did you know octopuses have three hearts and blue blood? Now you do. This is the kind of book they’ll pretend they didn’t want — then end up quoting for the next six months. Ideal bathroom or bedside reading for the self-aware know-it-all.
11. Personalised Laser-Engraved Multitool
Sure, it’s a multitool. But it’s engraved with something wildly specific, like “Don’t talk to me until I’ve fixed something” or their very niche nickname. Perfect for someone practical, but petty.
12. “I Tolerated This” Desk Sign
For coworkers, family members, or anyone attending life against their will. A little wooden sign that says, “I tolerated this,” and nothing more. Simple. Powerful. Deeply relatable.
13. Avocado Slicer They’ll Pretend to Hate
They’ll mock it. They’ll say it’s unnecessary. Then you’ll catch them using it three times a week while muttering, “It’s just convenient, okay?” The gateway kitchen gadget for the emotionally unavailable foodie.
15. Hidden Gift Card Book Box
When you truly have no idea what they want, give them money — disguised as something mysterious and clever. These hollow book boxes hide the fact you took the easy route… and somehow still make you look thoughtful.
Final Thought
People who “hate everything” don’t actually hate everything. They just hate the expected. The generic. The “live, laugh, love” of it all. If you show up with something that’s slightly off-centre, borderline ridiculous, or beautifully petty — they’ll probably love it.
And hey, even if they don’t? You tried. And honestly, we think you nailed it.
P.S. Wanna Keep Browsing?
For more weird, oddly specific, or laugh-out-loud gift ideas, check out the rest of ForPeopleWho.fun. We’ve got sections by personality, by vibe, by occasion, and just plain weird stuff. Or drop us a message if there’s a strange human in your life we haven’t covered yet. We love a challenge.